I tend to use financial metaphors when talking about life because I still feel like I know so little about managing finances. Growing up in a wealthy community without having that understanding contributed to the deference and sense of inferiority I’ve had for most of my life. When the pandemic first hit and I experienced what felt like life-shattering heartbreak, I was lucky to have a close familiarity with the wellness community. I leaned on those resources heavily to reconnect with myself and find purpose and meaning in life. I also noticed a sense of emptiness and endless soul-searching among many of the spokespeople entrenched in that world. They were people who thought they could find peace by making that their sole mission in life. But life fractures and shifts your consciousness and sense of self no matter how hard you try to hang on and anchor to things. Like tectonic plates constantly shifting, your ability to keep from being consumed relies on the unshakable foundations you’ve formed within yourself and the community around you. I’ve worked out that, just like healthy ecosystems in the environment, people also need to have diversity in every aspect of their lives to thrive.
My two greatest passions in life now are probably still clothing and writing. I write for a living, but also keep a daily journal and obviously write this newsletter. Each form of writing gives me a different kind of fulfillment that I can share with others around me. With clothing, I continue to explore the history and variety of garments out there in shape, fabric, and fit. There are ideas of presence and mindfulness that pervade everything I do now, supplanting the consumerist ideals that society indoctrinates us with. From that foundation, I’m able to really feel what resonates with me and hold onto it without feeling like I need it to be fulfilled. Finding a perfect garment isn’t a desire anymore, as I know that a garment alone couldn’t bring me satisfaction even if I had the perfect version of something. Instead, I can find clothing that sparks joy or inspiration and hold onto that feeling with the knowledge of its subtext rather than obsessing over technicalities in pursuit of perfection. Indeed, maybe the lesson here is about embracing imperfection.
So often, I want to give advice, but I also know that advice is often overlooked or misunderstood without context or awareness — so I’ve made it my goal to try to give that awareness with context when needed. What use is writing if you can’t illustrate the context of your values or why someone should care?
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that diversity is the spice of life. You need it to provide further context to your own actions and decisions and to promote growth both within yourself and your communities. Exploring your periphery interests, leaning into things that may be burdensome in your life, and finding renewed purpose in them. There are so many ways to grow and feel fulfilled. If you don’t know where to start, you can take a business approach and implement a SWOT analysis — compiling data around your own personal strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. When I worked at Grailed, the biggest positive changes happened when we started measuring goals and our success towards them. Indeed the biggest shifts in my personal life happened when I implemented the core values and practices I learned at work — things like accountability, focusing on solutions, and tracking progress on both macro and micro levels. I know this is a clothing-centered newsletter, but I talk about life here because it all trickles down, and often there are more significant psychological trends at play behind how we think about clothing.
If you’re feeling stagnant or uninspired or just aren’t sure where to start when it comes to diversifying your interests, below are some recommendations of things I’ve recently found enjoyable or fulfilling but aren’t necessarily clothing-specific.
Semaine
Semaine Post is a newsletter I recently subscribed to. Admittedly a lot of their content is on some woo-woo shit, but it’s all easy, low-effort stuff. At its core, I think Semaine is about providing informative lifestyle content in fun and engaging ways. Take the video above — On its surface, it’s about a woman-founded skate collective, but it’s also about enjoying new challenges, and there are metaphors in voice-over narration that carry over into life overall.
Audiobooks
I recommended the Libby app before, but I have a laundry list of books to read. Listening to books on my daily commute has become the easiest way to start chipping away at that list. Right now, I’m listening to Becoming Trader Joe which has been enlightening if often dispiriting (as in Shoe Dog, my big takeaway is that they relied on exploiting legal loopholes to beat out competitors). But I’ve also found that I enjoy evocative novels that deal with the concept of erotic obsession, like Madonna in a Fur Coat and Horse Crazy. I’m curious to explore more books that deal with grief and some traditional California motifs to relate back to my new job, so my next read will likely be The Year of Magical Thinking.
Newsletters
Craig Mod, who did the Kissa by Kissa book I recommended last month, writes several incredible newsletters. Early last month, he published a newsletter in his Roden series titled Archetypes Revisited. I found it to be astoundingly relatable but also inspiring to see how prolific he’s become in spite of, or perhaps because of, his background and the archetypes of his childhood. Everything he writes is worth reading.
From the Desk of: Brett F. Braley-Palko is the namesake newsletter of a friend of mine. What I love about Brett and his newsletter is that his recommendations feel so carefully considered and curated with the expertise of a true bon vivant but without any pretension. To me, great brands have approachability and humility while maintaining a sense of refinement and mastery. Brett’s personal brand certainly hits those marks for me.
I don’t know how long I’ve been subscribed to Valet, but I have an email in my inbox from 2009 where Cory told me to check out Wigwam socks, so suffice it to say they’ve been a mainstay in my life for a while now. Valet does a great job of disseminating news, popular culture, and clothing and grooming tips alike, and it’s one of the few things I read, or at least skim, almost daily. If you want to find content adjacent to your interest in men’s clothing, Valet is a great place to start.