El*n must have banned tweet embeds, but this old Tyler, the Creator tweet always comes to mind when I tell myself to suck it up when I’m down and do something about it. Easier said than done, but at this stage in life, I’ve noticed I’m much more confident about what I want to be doing and what I’m not willing to sit through. Of course, you gotta process your feelings and all that, but most of the time, when I notice I’m just slipping into a funk, all I need is to connect with some people. Grab a coffee. Go thrifting. Heck, go to a rodeo?
That’s what I did this past weekend; part of an exercise of reaching out, saying “yes,” and testing the limits of how committed I am to my convictions, especially around things like community and friendship in the face of paralyzing lifelong social anxiety and imposter syndrome. This past weekend was a whirlwind. I reunited with old friends I hadn’t seen in over a decade, bonding over how much we’ve grown and how much better our lives and relationships are for it. I spent a night out with friends I’m still only just getting to know, with no knowledge of where the night would take us, and it ended up being a perfectly enjoyable and memorable time with endless conversations. The following night, Junn was driving out to a rodeo and offered to take me with. It ended up being a lot of fun. Made me feel like I was in high school at a varsity football game or something. And in the hours-long car rides there and back, we talked about everything from what niche music subcultures we’re into to factors that influence personal style and the divide between “status” and “culture.” And I went to the Rose Bowl with Andrew, getting some quality time to chat about our clothing journey and what we’re into, and how ridiculous vintage prices have gotten for double Vs and big Es. I grabbed coffee with Alex, ruminating over how you don’t have to confine yourself to one creative field if you don’t want to; anyone can be a multidisciplinary artist these days — the limit does not exist. It was a nice reminder that I have friends, and the world can be a positive and welcoming place for ideas and friendships when you learn to see it that way.
I know this post isn’t necessarily about clothes, but it fits the “and other musings.” in the short description of this newsletter. If you want that itch scratched, I’ll be doing separate roundups of menswear things I’m digging and what I’ve been wearing, but most of that will be behind the paywall.
For now, here’s an older flick of my friend Chris in what I think is a pretty perfect fit. It’s the same stuff he’s been wearing since 2018, apart from maybe the hat, but I think there’s beauty in that. I’ve always felt a close affinity to elderly people and just want to live life the way they do, with no self-consciousness, little-to-no filter, an appreciation for life’s brevity, and an immensely strong outfit game. A lot of my oldest friends fit that archetype pretty well, or at least pretend to. But hey, sometimes you really do just gotta fake it ‘til you make it.